There is a relationship buster no one talks about: Step Parenting.
Most couples get together because they believe they love each other and can make a life together. This is not enough to keep you together if there are unresolved step parenting issues
Here are 2 golden rules
Rule #1. Love is not enough.
You would think it was but when it comes to step parenting there are some serious dynamics which need to be addressed (preferably before you decide to live together) Step parenting issues chip away at the very foundation of a relationship. Left unresolved they will chip away until the relationship tips over.
Rule #2. You must be able to talk about all of the uncomfortable things (and be ok with your partner doing the same to you) Its common for one of the Parents to simply close down and put up with step parenting issues. This is NOT a long term solution. If you cant discuss the following pot holes or are having trouble then contact me now.
The top 10 Step Parenting potholes to avoid at all costs
Kids disrespecting the Step Parent.
Step Parent trying to be the Parent.
The Parent not supporting the Step Parent in disputes
The “other” Parent from the previous relationship interfering/undermining you/your new family
The Step Parent disliking their partners kids.
Treating your own kids differently to your step kids.
The Parent leaving parenting to the Step Parent
Allowing kids to bring baggage in from the ex’s house into your house.
Playing Disney land Parent on access weekend
Ex’s undermining behavioral guidelines, creating the “nice” parent and the “mean” parent with all the rules.
Kids need a Parent NOT a friend. What the “friend” Parent doesn’t understand is the effects of undermining boundaries and consequences has on the kids. This will seriously bite you back when the kids are Teenagers.
Of course the irony is that there needs to be times where the Parent has to stand their ground and the Teen will yell and scream at that Parent but by the time the Teen is out of that ugly teen stage, they realise the “mean” Parent was actually doing them a favour and was an important part of loving them. Long term, kids respect and love the Parents who give them boundaries and consequences and actually lose respect for the Parent who gave in and just tried to be your friend.
Please forward this blog to anyone you know who needs help with Step Parenting. Every Step Parenting situation is different and has unique circumstances. Thats why I’m here to help.